(This entry might get a little bit personal. I usually don't do anything this heavy, but I feel I need to say a little bit. You can just delete this if you're not interested/don't actually know me.)

This last month has sort of brought a close to a relatively wasteful chapter of my life. I know it's said that time spent learning is never wasted, but in spite of what it's taught me, I still feel I've been slow to learn. In short, a small act that I never expected to come to anything ended up taking away years of my life pointlessly.

This, however, only affects me, and there's no sense brooding so publicly. The real concern is of the things that this entire piece has made me do to others. In a lot of ways, this whole experience put a bad taste in my mouth, and one I spat in a lot of ways at my endlessly patient friends. I know most of them won't see this, but I really do hope that they can see why they're important to me.

I'm not an angry or bitter person by nature, but this entire situation made me one, for a long time, and it was misdirected and unnecessary. Again, I hope that the people who bore the brunt of this can move on in the ways that I never could, but just as much, I hope I can find a way to escape it permanently. For a long time, I felt stretched between two different sorts of personality, and while I acknowledge that as the standard teenaged thing to say, I can't think of a better way to put it.

This whole thing is related, though, to the revival of this page. My massive string of writings (for I find them hard to call poetry, for all the meaning they hold now) the other night that I posted here were a sort of manifestation of what I felt at the time, and the reason they were so backlogged for so long was because they were much more personal at the time, regarding that which I used to consider important. By making them public, I hope to neutralize some of that meaning, and begin recovery.

Thanks to anyone who was willing to read through this. I understand it's not an exciting thing to read, but it was necessary. Look forward to some actual inspired writing here from now on, as I intend to bring this page back with a bang, especially once my exams come and go.